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Wednesday, October 18th, 2006
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October 18th|9.15pm - Warm Us Up And Watch Us Blow
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~×Your Name×~
First Name × katherine
Middle Name × campbell
Were you named after anyone? × no
If yes, who? ×
Do you like your name? × no. it means pure and virginal. that means i'm going to die a virgin. that sucks because i've been waiting for orlando bloom and tim armstrong.
If not, what would you change it to? × hm... brielle was always a nice name
Were you almost named something else? × carly or jenna
If yes, what was it? × carly or jenna
If you were born the opposite sex, what would your name have been? ian, ryan, samuel
Who named you? × ...parents
~×Basics×~
Hair color? × blonde
Happy with it? × wish it was honey colored
Do you dye your hair? × highlights
If yes, what colors has your hair ever been? ×
Is your hair long or short? × too long for my liking- shoulder length
What shampoo do you use? × pantene/vive/herbal essences- anything i feel like using on a given day
Conditioner? × love it
What about toothpaste? × something luminous
How many times a day do you brush your teeth? × 2 on weekdays, maybe once during the weekend
Are your teeth straight? × yeah
Do you/did you have braces? × had
Are your teeth white? × sort of
What color are your eyes? × blue
Are you happy with it? × yep
What would you change them to? × green/amythest
Do you wear contacts or glasses? × reading glasses
What hand do you write with? × right
Your gender? × female
~×Your Age and Birthday×~
When is your birthday? × june 10
What time were you born? × in the am- 4ish
Do you share a birthday with any of your friends? × no
What about family members? × no
What about celebrities? × some prince
What's your Zodiac sign? × gemini
Chinese Zodiac sign? × ... possibly twins
What age do you wish you were? × over 21
What age do you act? × idk...
~×Sizes×~
Height × 5'5"
Weight × idk
Shirt size × medium
Pant size × ...... how about no.
Shoe size × 9 to 10
Sock size × any size
Ring size × dont wear rings
~×Family×~
What is your mom's name? × kim
Dad's? × jer
Any brothers? × no
If yes, their names & ages × none
Any sisters? × no
If yes, their names & ages ×
Favorite family member? × idk
Least favorite family member? × hehehe
Which family members live with you? × parents and cats
Do you have any pets? × yup
Type of animal & their names? × cats- skeeter and chevy. i had no part in the name selection.
~×School×~
What grade are you in? × 10th
What school do you attend? × coginchaug
What's your mascot? × devil
Are you in any sports? × tennis, hopefully
Are you in any clubs? × quiz bowl
Are you full of school spirit?!?! × give me an n. give me an o.
What do people stereotype you as? × womderfully obnoxious loser who is sarcastic as hell and funny and stuff
What classes are you taking? × ones in school
Your favorite class? × english
Least favorite class? × math
Favorite teacher? × mattei
Least favorite teacher? × michael
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| Tuesday, October 10th, 2006
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October 10th|9.35pm - Did I Ever Call You Honey When That Name Wasn't Meant For You?
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I feel like crying and kicking and screaming and I can't even feel what I'm feeling at this moment. It's like how I used to be, all quiet and depressed and {I don't want to say suicidal because I wasn't there yet.} numb. I can't get myself to feel any emotion unless it's anger towards my dad or love towards Semya. I think it's love, but who the hell knows? He hates my guts and I sometimes think that I do, too, but other times I'm suprised that I'm not spilling my guts to him. Fucking jackass that I like wayyy too much!!!!.
He probably thinks that I'm some fat, annoying, brainless blonde bimbo who has no friends. And ugly. And you know what the sad thing is? I feel that way about me, too. I'm so insecure and it kills me inside. I want to be the blonde bombshell who everybody loves and admires. I guess some things are too hard to get.
current mood:  pessimistic
current music: Sahara Hotnights- "Keep Calling My Baby" off Kiss And Tell
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| Wednesday, June 14th, 2006
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June 14th|10.00am - Rock N Roll Is What I'm Born To Be
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I deleted my entry again. Fuck.
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| Tuesday, June 6th, 2006
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June 6th|10.36am - That Girl Thinks She's The Queen Of The Neighborhood...
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I ♥ Brody Dalle. A lot.
In fact, she's my favorite singer. I want her hair.
So I'm going to get it cut like so during the summer. I can't wait.
Six Degrees Of Separation Of Brody Dalle:
1) Sourpuss: Band has B. as lead singer.
2) The Distillers: B's next band.
3) Rancid: Tim meet's B & falls in love & she forms The Distillers. How sweet.
4) Operation Ivy: Tim was a part of Operation Ivy.
5) Common Rider: Jesse was in Operation Ivy.
6) ME: I ♥ Common Rider.
7) I have too much time on my hands.
Wow. How pathetic is that?
Not Very.
Bored as hell.
Having trouble typing. Which sucks ass.
Birthday on Saturday. I can't wait. If any of you people are pathetic enough to read this and find this interesting, send me a present. Preferably something I can wear/listen to/eat. Any of those would be fine.
I could go for some cake right about now. Ice cream cake.
Ah yeah.
Class was is pretty boring.
And it's almost time to go.
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| Monday, June 5th, 2006
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June 5th|1.58pm - Souls Like Ours Must Touch To Be Free ♥♥
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Not deleting my eljay.
I wish I could say that I was writing a profound and heartfelt entry, but who the hell do I have to fool?
I still like the guy I hate, so I'm trying to sort out my true feelings for him. Stupid hormones got in the way and ruined everything. If I never wound up liking him, we could ignore each other more than we do now and things would be just fine. I could insult him, he would belittle me, I would call him an asshole or something more berating.
Why does all thils stuff happen to me? The whole "falling in love thing." God, I need to get control of my emotions. I can't go on acting like this.
What I really need to do is pick myself up off the ground[by my bootstraps] and give myself a good talking to. Ha, fuck that. I'll just nurse a quite a few cartonS of Ben & Jerry's and watch some old movies. Like Casablanca or Gone With The Wind or anything that will get my mind off of him.
My life is so confusing. I hate my life. Well not really, but I feel like being apathetic.
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| Thursday, May 18th, 2006
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May 18th|10.00am - But Julian I'm A Little Bit Older Than You...
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I hate my EllJay. And I have no idea how the hell to delete this damn thing. I so ell-jay-ing-ly challenged. Damn.
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| Monday, April 24th, 2006
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April 24th|10.27am - With empty words, our worlds collide
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I'm officially a bad person.
I don't even know where to begin with my tales of badiness. I know that isn't a word, but work with me people.
Anyways, a guy just sneezed and it sounded like he was making one of those coughy-talking-word things. Usually it's Acho-loser" but he replaced loser with whore. Or horny. Doesn't really matter to me, he's an asshole.
Just like the rest of the people in this godforsaken place. I can't stand it any more. Last night I was seriously contemplating running away, starting a new life somewhere else, a new life as somebody else. In a place where I'm not the little goody-goddy or whatever the hell they call me these days.
Looked in my girls night out fund- the place where I keep alll my money- only $85.46 total. That won't get me very far.
deleted my myspace. Actually, Mom made me deltete it- she said I was abusing the computer. She can be such a cow sometimes. Dad deleted all of my favorites- which housed very very important things. ie: quizilla crap and my punkrockdomestics.com junk. I don't care about that anymore, the worst part is that he deleted ALL of my music. Fucking cunthead, just like always. Bastard.
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| Wednesday, February 8th, 2006
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February 8th|12.54pm - We sat back and laughed, ignored by the world we attacked
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It's been along time since I've actually been on here, for I've been writing in my journal at school. Nothing extremely interesting has been happening, I'm mostly just slaving away, trying to bring up my grades. I basically suck at school now. Goddamn science, that keeps fucking me up. Currently in my study hall. Bleckity blah bleck. There's nothing to do, but we;re approximately halfway through the school year. We're all picking out or electives tomorrow and get assigned our classes. I KNOW that I'm going to be put in Biology B because my science grade for this quarter is a whopping D+. Go me.
Fuck, my arms are extremely tired; damn body sculpting has been pure fucking torture. At least Emily's in that class with me. I can't do any of the crunches on the incline, I can barely bench press forty pounds, and my legs are so sore that I'm walking like a cowboy. Far from the fun I'd anticipated. Hell, I didn't even know what to anticipate. Stupid synopsis didn't give enough info about what we would be doing. Been writing more songs lately, usually two per study hall. There not of the greatest quality, but I am only 14.5.
When I just got on this thing, maybe 9 minutes ago, this crazy kid Joe asked me if I had been working on any songs. But he has a nasty lisp, so it sounded like he said, "Have you been working on any thongs?" I almost died because I thought my pants were too low. But then I realized he meant to say "songs." I really hope I never marry anybody with a lisp because when we fucked it would sound like he was yelling "Hate! Hate!" instead of "Kate!Kate!" It would be uber-confuzzling.
Ate lunch with Bobby today. He said that his guitar teacher was living in Berkley, CA from 1987 to 1991, AND that he was friends with Jesse Michaels and Tim Armstrong. Highly unlikely, but hell, I would brag if I knew somebody who knew Jesse MOTHERFUCKING Michaels. If he lived in Berkley during that time period, it would be very likely that he met Mike MOTHERFUCKING Dirnt. Holy fuck. Damn, I want to meet this guy. And also, if he lived there then that means that he probably saw some of their shows at 924 Gilman Street. Oh fuck, that lucky bastard. Anyways, Bobby also said that his Uncle also knew the guys of Op. Ivy and that he wrote the bassline for "Junkie's Runnin' Dry." I seriously doubt that, but I'll humor him with making him think that I believe him. But, OPERATION IVY!!! Christ, Jesse Michaels is my # 2 person [in mind] of best lyricists alive, and he's my 3rd favorite singer of all time. He was also pretty damn hot back in the day. I bet he still is, but I'm too lazy to look up pictures of him now.
Since I'm on the topic, I'll list my favorite lyricists and my favorite singers.
FAVORITE LYRICISTS:
Billie Joe Armstrong [Green Day. Need I say more?]
Jesse Michaels [Hot damn shizzam. His lyrics are crazily deep and he wrote all his songs when he was just 19 years old.]
Josephine Forsman [Sahara Hotnights. Without her, the band would completely fall apart. Not into line. And she plays the shit of the drums.]
FAVORITE SINGERS:
Maria Andersson [Sahara Hotnights. Her voice is unbelievably pretty and so much fun to sing along to. Whoa.]
Jesse Michaels [He combines his raspy voice with punk and ska beats and the way he raps like there's no tomorrow. Word.]
Billie Joe Armstrong [Favorite band. Need I say more? His singing voice sounds so different from his normal speaking voice. His normal voice makes him sound like a gay Michael Jackson. Actually, that's slightly redundant, he sounds just like a gay person.]
Anywho, I just forgot what I was going to type. No, I didn't but I don't feel like talking/typing it now with the possibility of all these people looking. I'll type it in a new entry later. Suprisingly, I starting to like the guy I like with all my heart less and like this other guy more. It's pretty crazy. I don't know what to think anymore. Ah, my life.
God, lately I've been acting like such an emo kid. I seriously need to stop. It's always around this type of year that I become extremely depressed. This year has been better than all of the past years, so it's all good. Last year I was seriously contemplating suicide && stuff, but I'm all better now. I don't know how I got better, it was as if one day I woke up and said, "I don't want to deal with this anymore." and stopped being depressed. Crazy sounding, I know.
current mood:  bouncy
current music: None- Silent Study Hall
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| Monday, January 23rd, 2006
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January 23rd|7.43pm - There's nothing left, so take the rest.
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Anyways, I'm freaking pissed off. Why?
a) Because some stupid little prick is talking about me behind my back and this certain somebody doesn't even know who I am. Seriously, he's never even met me. This is the comment he left on his friends myspace:
"wanna leave that comment again..lol jk you left it like 15 times but no...i meant cancum cuz all of other mexico is gross and who is kate clark lol she sounds like a loser?"
If I was his friend on myspace, I would leave a comment that ripped him a new fucking asshole. WHAT THE FUCK??? Is he too drugged up to even write a complete sentence with proper grammar? And it's spelled "CANCUN", not cancum. Anyways, [at the risk of sounding like an english teacher,] it looks like the fragment "she sounds like a loser?'' a question, and is waiting for the other person to leave a comment confirming or denying the fact that I was indeed a loser. I really don't feel like taking shit from somebody I don't even know.
b) PMS is a bitch. Rather, it's making me a bitch. And I'm getting all choked up listening to Sahara Hotnights songs, especially "Fire Alarm" and "Only the Fakes Survive". I have no idea why, but I just am. I'm on the verge of tears right now, "Hangin'" just came on. That song makes me very sad, too. I've got the worst case of cramps right now, it feels as if my ovaries are about to fall out. Today I've been randomly snapping at my mom and I feel like shit because of it. She's the only person I can completely trust, and I always cry when I'm in a fight with her. Basically, I would probably kill myself if she died today, especially considering the fact that my last words to her were, "Shut up, bitch."
c) I have a fucking science midterm tomorrow. I'm still completely unprepared, which is not good because I'm counting on raising my grade from a D to a C-. I'm so unbelievably scared, and to top it off, I'm probably not going to sleep well tonight. I've had 3 sodas in the last hour, so I basically screwed myself over. Fuck shit pussyheaded cocksucking lesbian humping llama faced manorexic on heroin.
d) My voice is cracking from being on the brink of tears. Now it'll sound all fucked up tomorrow.
e) I'm a compulsive liar. Basically 1/3 2/3 of the stuff I've just typed isn't true. I just can't stop lying. Is there anything I can even do to stop? and if there is, WHY CAN'T I STOP LYING?? I wish I could say "I speak the truth, the truth of the heart," but if I did, I would be lying and if I lie anymore I may as well just change my identity now because with all these lies encompassing me, it feels as if I'm living somebody else's life. It's at times like these that I wonder why I was even born. Was I really meant for this life? Most of the time it seems as if I'm living in the wrong place at the wrong time, and it saddens me greatly. Why can't I just run away from everything, no worries and no problem? Do I have some sort of thing programmed into my head that makes it impossible for me to forget everybody?
Of course not, that would make my life way to easy, wouldn't it? If there is/was a God, couldn't he just speed up my life out of the doldrummy stage that it's in?
Maybe I should just runaway tonight and kill myself under the bridge in the neighborhood.
But alas, another fatal flaw in my plan, I'll never get to see green day in concert, and I'll never get to tell a certain object of my affection about how I've had a crush on him during the past 3 years. Stupid love keeping me alive.
I hate love. Why must it be so unfair? It seems that the guys that fall for me are always the kind that I don't fall for, and the kinds that I do fall for aren't the kind that fall for me. Will I end up existing as a cranky old spinster who can't attract a man's attention? Oh god, the thought of me dressing primarily in cat motif sweatshirts is enough to give me a heart attack.
Brody Dalle's "gargled-with-gravel" voice is currently pumping through the minuscule computer speakers as I bare my innermost thoughts to a computer and [if there are any] complete strangers. I haven't been writing in my actual diary anymore, and it makes me feel bad. Hell, I haven't even looked in my journal in the past 3 weeks. I wrote some pretty awesome [and perverted] songs in there, my favorite being "I wanna be a whore". Catchy title, I know. No need to explain what that song's about.
I wonder what sex is actually like. No, that's not an invitation, horny readers! I mean I've masturbated a few times [today], but sex has got to be a lot different. Personally, I don't think it's that bad being a whore or a slut, and if I had better self-esteem I would be one. I would be happy to [hopefully] provide orgasmically wonderful feelings. But I'm too worried about everybody thinks about me to ever become sexually promiscious. Maybe I should become a hooker so that when people call me a whore I can just say that it's my job. Then people won't have anything to say to that so then they'll shut the fuck up.
People call me perverted all the time, but they just don't understand that it's because I have so much built-up sexual frustration. But then again, what fourteen year old girl doesn't suffer from that?
Christ, there's so many of my own questions that I can't even answer. I'm outtie. Peace homies, and check out my myspace:
www.myspace.com/ieatchumpslikeu4brekkie
current mood:  contemplative
current music: Beat Your Heart Out - The Distillers
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| Saturday, January 14th, 2006
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January 14th|5.40pm - you're the one i wish i had
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I'm throughly pissed off right now. Why? Because I typed this huge entry yesterday during business class about my thoughts on life and I accidentally deleted it. Anyways, here's a new entry.
Sometimes I just sit around and wonder what will become of my life. Will I grow old here in Middlefield and become nothing more than pencil-pusher who works from 9 to five at a shitty desk job? Or will I get accepted to Berklee School Of Music and major in Businees Management and eventually open up my very own record label?? I certainly hope so, for this town is unbearable. People here are so nosy and gossip-mongering whores with nothing to do but pretend to be black despite the fact that they're albino country boys whose penises cannot compare to those of the average black man. Everybody here tries to be something that they're not, and I don't want to be sucked back into a hole like that again. But when I think of escaping this town, I realize that it can never come true and that I have so much riding on my dream of getting into Berklee. What if I don't get in? What will become of me? Will I just be so fed up that I kill myself or will I fall into a deep depression, gamble all my money away, and become a drone working at a shitty dead-end job? Or will I become so crushed that I run away to California and never speak to anybody again??
All this talk of the future is scaring me so much. The world is already such a scary place, what will become of it in 10 years? 15 years? 100 years? But then again, does it really matter? Soon I'll be dead anyways.
Whoa, I'm starting to talk like I did last year, which was quite possibly the worst year of my life. The year started out fine, but I was slowly withdrawing from all my friends and isolating myself in my own little world. I didn't care about anything, just eating and listening to music. Don't you think that my so-called "friends" would have noticed that I was no longer my perverted bubbly self, but an introverted self-destructing girl who had no outlet to let out her emotions??
Of course not. They were so busy figuring out which shoes coordinated with which juicy couture track suit and who they were giving blow jobs to to be concerned with me in my time of need. Some friends, eh? And every single day when it was time to talk, didn't they notice that I barely said two words? No, they were too busy critiquing everybody's outfits and determining how many carbohydrates were in potato chips. Couldn't they see that I was dying inside? Couldn't they see the tear-streaks that were permanently stained on my face from crying myself to sleep each night? They were too wrapped up in their own lives to care about mine.
So, there's this guy I happen to like at school, and I think it's so odd because 3 years I wouldn't so much as talk to him. Now I go completely out of my way to talk to him, to get a simple "hey" out of his mouth. And his eyes, wow. And at the risk of sounding desperate, I love doing anything with him, even if it's just talking. And I love the way his eyes glimmer when he's happy. And I love how he breaks into a huge smile before he laughs. And I love him.
But, from what I've heard, he's got a girlfriend.
Drat.
current mood: nostalgic
current music: I Taught You Everything You Know- The Bobbyteens
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| Tuesday, January 10th, 2006
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January 10th|8.36am - You'll never lose....
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Currently in business class just writing in here because I really don't feel like completing my social studies homework ((writing a "reflection" about an article I read about the Palestinian/Arab war thing.
Time to leave.
current music: The Sound Of Fingers Hitting The Keys- My Business Class
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| Thursday, January 5th, 2006
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January 5th|10.26am - You're free at liberty
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It's science clas thing.
I'm in the computer lab with 1/4 of the class. I really should bwe researching information about plastic polymers, but I don't think I can handle all of that fun fun fun. Catch the sarcasm?
Anyways, there's this hilarious link. I would put it on now, but the school doesn't allow that linky site thing.
It fucking cracks me up. No lie.
In fact, I fell out of my chair when I listened to it. But then I fell on my cat, Skeeter. So now I have a bononstrous cut on my nose. And it stings like a bitch.
My hair is greasy and I hate it.
HELL YES!!!!!!!!!! THE LINK TO QUIZILLA ISN'T BLOCKED!
I must fly. Tata for now
current mood:  chipper
current music: Take Warning- Operation Ivy
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| Monday, January 2nd, 2006
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January 2nd|6.20pm - me, myself, and i- that's all i got
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I'm not very interesting. See below for FAQ.
Name? Katherine Campbell Clark
Sexuality Prefenece? Men with big penises
Sex? I would say "yes, please" but too many people say that. Fucking brainwashed hippies with no original thoughts in their oversized heads. Anyways, I'm female.
Sexiness Level? Quite low, but I would say I'm better looking than Ashlee Simpson. But then again, whose not?
DOB? 6/10/91
Location? The chair in my dad's office in my house on my piece of property in a neighborhood in a {cow}town in Connecticut in the US in Northern America in the world... have you fallen asleep yet?
Weight? About 10-15 lbs above average
Eye Color? Light blue.
Hair Color? This really weird color that looks like a color that would be formed when platinum blond{e} and shit were thrown in a blender and pureed for 10 minutes.
Level Of Smartness? Was once high, but now D-minusing science. Goddamn teacher fucking hates me. It's a fucking conspiracy between all science teachers to see me try to overexert myself and crack under the stress and get sent to a mental institution. Speaking of which, I like that song by Suicidal Tendencies. "Institutionalized" is i believe what it's called. Anywho, I have a vast knowledge of what many people would call "not important," such as knowing the name of the DJ in Salt N Peppa {Spinderella}.
Bra Size? 34B, small I know.
Pets? 2 cats, Skeeter{m,2 monthes}& Chevy {f,5yrs}. Deceased= 2 cats, Zip (dead= November 3, 2005; Grandpa's Birthday.) & Zeus or however the hell Puerto Ricans pronounce "Jesus" has been dead maybe 3-5 years.
Siblings? None thank god. However, when I have to go out to dinner, I would like a brother or sister to fight/talk with. Preferably a younger sister because from what I can tell, younger brothers are shit
Favorite Bands? Green Day, Sahara Hotnights, The Donnas, Operation Ivy, The Clash, The Ramones, The Sex Pistols, The Bangs, The Horrorpops, Girls Make Graves.
Favorite Song? "Sassafrass Roots" by Green Day. I used to hate this song with a passion, but now I understand it more. It feels as if I've grown up, which is something odd for a 14 & some fraction to say.
Favorite Food? Anything Mexican or Chinese. NO!! TORTILLA SOUP FOLLOWED BY A TACO SALAD WITH CHICKEN & THEN A CHICKEN BURRITO. Or something like that.
Whoring Level? Quite low suprisingly. I guess I lost my whoreness when I changed friends.
BACKGROUND OF MY LIFE:
Born on June 10, 1991 to 29 year old Kimberly Lynn Wilson Clark & 33 year old Jeremy Nathaniel Clark, I grew up to be a "well-round and cultured girl" who was extremely naive. I became an avid reader & soccer player. Yadda Yadda Yadda.
5th grade: became bffs with the biggest fucking bitches in the history of bitches. I was basically oblivious to how bitch they were making me. Had sleepovers every weekend, was basically in the "popular/ don't-fucking-mess-with-me-unless-you-want-to-be-the-school's-biggest-loser" group. End up gaining 30 lbs.
6th grade: Subconciously and slowly alienating myself from said group all while maintain status as smartisdt girl in school. no lie.
7th grade: Same friends unfortunately. Gets introduced to Green Day's music & becomes extremely obsessed. Becomes labelled as "poser" by people who've known about them forever and "too hardcore" by my uber-fucking preppy/ Avril Lavigne wannabe friends. Begin to rebel slightly against group.
8th grade: Same friends. Become extremely depressed during winter on due to unsatisfaction on the friend front. However, branching out and becoming less bitchy while gaining friendship with the less popular kids. Summer= Isolate myself from everybody. Don't go to parties, don't return phone calls, basically stay at home & watch tv/read all day. Extremely horrible way to spend summer.
9th grade: NEW FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Old friends don't seem to mind too much, but i can't really tell due to my lack-of-caringness about them. Still "acquaintances" with 2-3 of them {less bitchy ones}. Ringleader (INTENTIONALLY) ruins favorite white shirt by writing "SLUT" in red permanent marker on my back during English class. That is so unbelievably far from the truth because she's not a virgin and i am. I spread vicious rumors about how they're all lesbians who give free oral sex in the high school bathrooms during lunch. A little overthetop, but nobody knew the difference. Attended Green Day concert on 9/9/05!! Loved it. New all the words to all of the songs. Damned "maria" fucked me up, though. Still slilghtly depressed. I think I may have that SAD thing or whatever it's called when you're sad during winter. Is that even an illness? I seriously have no idea.
current mood: cynical
current music: Operation Ivy- Energy- Jaded
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katexxxdirnt's journal